Those Seven Chocolate Piano Clocks
by Animietoon11 -Jables
Summary: A completely normal non-wierd story that does not promote terrorism. rated M for many MANY things.  TSCPC is sponsered by frosted flakes "gettin' Shakey with the flakey!" i spell can-do's name as can-do because that is how it is on the movie subtitles.
1. Chapter 1

**If you are confused by this story, don't worry... I am too.**

Alpha and Omega: Those seven chocolate piano clocks

(Starts at end of movie)

Humphrey and Kate were leaving from the Moonlight howl.

"Humphrey! You have lumps on your head! Are they bruises?"

"No, they are my babies."

"Your what?"

"My babies bought Alaska for 20 dollars."

"Humphrey.. Are you okay?"

"I'm not Ok... IM OJ! but not the sunny D kind, if you know what I'm saying."

"Ok then... I'm gonna go visit my dad real quick, don't do anything to stupid while I'm gone."

Kate backed away slowly and then ran to her den.

(In the den)

Tony and winston seemed to be in an argument.

"Tony, you can go home to your own den now."

"Not until I find my Sugar!"

"What sugar?"

"And my frosting!"

"Tony, are you sick?"

"No..."

"Are you on drugs?"

"Possibly..."

"Why are you on drugs?"

"THEY'RE GREAT" (**A/N: First cereal pun! New record!**)

"Ok Tony why don't you just get some rest... and remember, you're a wolf, not a cat."

Kate walked in after that last sentence.

"Dad Humphrey's acting like he's high again"

"Take his steroids away then"

"Ok then. Oh wheres Garth and Lilly?"

"Well lilly is on top of the den acting like a caterpillar and Garth keeps licking his foot and saying he needs ketchup."

"Um dad, is something wrong happening?"

"Well lets see.. Hutch thinks he is a cupcake... Can-do keeps singing about polar bears... Tony is acting like a tiger... Eve is writing about butterflies on her blog... Most of the Omegas keep beating up piggy banks... the East pack keeps saying give us back our lava lamps or we'll set fire to your bacon and our alphas keep pretending to ride turtles to Australlia. So I guess not." (**A/N: 66 words! Longest sentence yet! New record!**)

"Ok bye dad."

As Kate walked out of the den Reba and janice ran by screaming "STOP DROP AND ROLL!"

Kate went to Humphreys den and saw him sitting outside of it.

"Humphrey what are you doing?"

"He's my new friend"

Humphrey pointed to a rock with scribbles on it

"His name is BobMcgeorginson Joe Jenkins the seventeenth Junior"

Kate facepalmed herself from hearing this.

When she took her palm away from her face The first thing she saw was Humphrey smiling. Then she noticed that behind him was his den, and it was on fire.

"Humphrey! Your den is on fire!"

"I know, me and bob were playing tag when he set my house on fire."

"Thats it I give up... what is wrong with everyone?"

Humphrey calls from the background

"I measured my birthday and it was thirty two inch-holes!"

"Shut up Humphrey!" Kate called back.

As kate contemplated her complex situation (**A/N: three big words in 1 sentence! New record! 3 records in 1 story! New record!**) She heard Humphrey in the background saying "Spin the other way! Spin the other way! Spin the other way! Spin the other way!"

**Why did Humphrey purchase mushroom spores from Dumbledore at the liquor store?**

**Why does every word containing a Q have a U right after it? Did this story make any sense at all? Are you crying? Well keep crying. YES cry! CRY TILL YOU BLEED! Oh... um... come back next time... and keep crying... just keep crying... give me a bucket full of your frozen tears so I can sell them on Ebay, then do a pushup at McDonalds. After that please go swim in the watermelon section of Wal-mart. Are you still reading this? Wow... good. Then send me those frozen tears... now... just leave... my brain hurts... if you read any further you will have toilet troubles... toilet troubles... hey that'll be my new story! Toilet troubles! I'll make a song about it!**

**When you sittin' in your chair, then out of nowhere, you let crack a bubble of wind..**

**Then you gotta take some pooes, and in your rear you feel a big ooze... Toilet trouble... there was no beat so you should REALLY stop reading... or I'll give you brain freeze... on a rollercoaster, underwater, with mexican space pirates. Good luck soldier... can I stop now?**

**Bye... ow...**


	2. Chapter 2: What the fudge?

**If the story was confusing now... then go set off a firework**

"IT'S A PANCAKE" Humphrey yelled in Kate's ear

"Humphrey not now!"

"Hmm, what rhymes with Kate? Kate... date late rate ate fate mate wait bait hate Kuwait annihilate... im bored, I think ill go eat that green waffle over there. "

In Winston's den, things were going insane.

"Eve, why is Garth crying? Did you assault him again?" Winston said very seriously.

"Where the heck am I supposed to get salt?" Eve barked back.

"I don't want salt, I want mustard" Garth said in a pathetic crying baby voice.

"Eve what the heck is mustard?" Winston says, confused.

"Eat my toenails!" Lilly says as she crawls in like a caterpillar.

"Speaking of mustard I gotta go take one." Eve said while floating away.

"Hey guys I found the ketchup!" Garth says while holding a bottle of maple syrup.

Just then Reba and Janice walk in. "Hey look we're magnets!" As they say that they both cling to the ceiling.

Tony walks in later. "Hey guys whats going on?"

Winston replies saying "Total pandemonium"

"Okay." Tony says then he walks away.

"Hey look the ketchup smells green!" garth says as he throws a lit match in the maple syrup.

"Where the heck did you get a match?" Winston says.

"Amazon." Garth replies as the maple syrup sends off an atomic maple bomb.

"YOU LOOK LIKE GRAPE JUICE" says Tony as he walks in.

"Where did you go?" says winston.

"You told me to go get a panda! So I got one!" As Tony says that a giant panda bursts into the den and rips reba and janice off of the ceiling. He rips out thier intestines and throws them at Garth. "Yay more mustard!" Garth says as the panda runs up to him, snaps his front legs and devours him. The panda goes into the other den room and sees Eve and Lilly watching Spongebob on the TV. He runs over, Jumps on them and squishes them. Just then a Hunter with an automatic shotgun runs in and starts blasting the panda like crazy. The panda rolls off the 2 wolfs who were still alive but had many broken bones. The hunter shot at the wolfs and killed lilly in 1 shot. He then shot at eve, first he blew her ear off, then he shot off her tail and back side. He got extremly angry, ran towards eve, picked her up, stuck the shotgun down her throat and fired, it blew her guts everywhere and the only thing left was her head. He threw the head on the ground and walked away whistling.

"He was a free gift with the panda." Tony says, smiling.

Winston was in complete shock. Then everything blurred.

"Oh, it was just a dream." Winston said, feeling very relieved.

"Eat my toenails!" Lilly says as she crawls in like a caterpillar.

"Speaking of mustard I gotta go take one." Eve said while floating away.

"Hey guys I found the ketchup!" Garth says while holding a bottle of maple syrup.

Just then Reba and Janice walk in. "Hey look we're magnets!" As they say that they both cling to the ceiling.

Tony walks in later. "Hey guys whats going on?"

Winston realizes that the same thing is happening, after thinking for a while he says "I'm standing on mayonnaise"

Tony runs in and yells "NO! ITS MY BACONNAISE!"

"Merry Kwanza! To fun and for fall!" Humphrey called out.

"Humphrey, shut it!" kate yelled

"I was born under a rock! Oh and the rock looked cool! And guess what else?"

"What?" Kate said sarcastically

"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"

"No humphrey!"

"H-U-M-phrey!"

"Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!"

"Humphrey, why are you singing that?"

"Its my favorite song because the captain sings with little kids"

"Thats it I'm going to bed."

Kate walked in to her den and Humphrey followed.

**Thats it for chapter 2! Next is chapter 3: The part where Kate trys to stop everyone from acting like complete weirdos. Also known as TPWKTTSEFALCW**

**If you have ANY requests in this story (Make them as random as possible please.) Then PM me. **

**PM:Powerful Mexican-food**

**Aka Tacos, burritos, taquitos, fajitas, chalupas etc.**

what's a cowslip?


	3. Chapter 3: TPWKTTSELFALCW

**Dear readers,**

**I have taken a very long absence… and for that I am sorry.**

**BUT NOW I IS BACKZ AND MOAR TERRIRFRIEINGLY RANDOM THAN EVUR!(PUT THAT IN UR CHEEZBURGER SOUP!)**

**So yea sorry for leavin 'n everything but I have to finish at least one alpha and omega story, so I decided to continue this. I left for mostly 1 big reason, which was that my trial ran out on word perfect, but now I have full Microsoft 2010 student edition and I really want to start typing.**

**Two authors notes:**

**All of you writers will be amazing if you have to take essays. (you guys are master writers.)**

**I want to thank turrdle for both inspiring me to continue this story and his idea for the chapter.**

**(I can't count) please write lots of reviews! (if I can get 20 I'll probably start a new A+O story.)**

Chapter 3:TPWKTTSEFALCW

The part where Kate trys to stop everyone from acting like complete weirdos

INTRO SONG!

This is the part!

The part where the thing

The thing happens!

Something bout kate!

Cause she tries to stop!

Like a stop sign!

Pulling out the yield!

CHORUS:

Butter my toast

Butter my toast

Butter my toes and ill sing for you.

45 bucks!

45 toast!

Butter my pennies and ill smell blue!

OUTRO:

Ever

Why? One!

Afro! Letter m!

Act! With an ing!

Then the l-i-k-e!

The songs almost complete!

For the wierdoss.

Bam!

"Wake! Kate up! Wake its time to kate up! WAKE! KATE UP NOW!"

"Humphrey?" kate had just woken up. "Humphrey what time is it?"

"bamboo stalks!"

"your still crazy aren't you."

"Angry pencil sharpener cats!"

"that's a yes."

Kate walked over to her dad.

"so, anyone back to normal yet?"

"trust me, its not even close."

"so whats new?"

"snails are traveling to Africa in a cargo plane, tony is now a movie star and the birds just launched a nuclear warhead onto china."

Humphrey sneaks behind kate.

"THOSE POOR CHINESEAINS! THEY LOST ALL THEIR STAKE!"

"I say we leave everyone here and travel to Alaska."

"not a bad idea kate" as Winston thought it over.

Now over to lilly garth and eve!

"PIE PANCAKED TABLET NOTEBOOK HELMET LIGHT DISCS!"

"you lose again lily! You are horrible at cheze!"

"garth thinks its called parrchessi"

"parr-chess-i?"

Eve stood up on two legs and turned into a rocket ship. She crash landed in the ocean.

Wow, that was short. Back to the winstons!

"Kate, do you hear that?"

"It sounds like a…"

Suddenly a boat with the word 'skool' scribbled on the side with marker slammed into the cave.

"What the cra-"

"SHHHH! Not infront of the bacon" Humphrey said.

Suddenly an extremely muscular dude jumped out of the boat. When he hit the ground an earthquake occurred and California broke off of the US.

He began to say something.

"Have you seen my ointment?" the 'man' said in a raspy old ladies voice.

"Um sir,"

"EEEK! Talkin kitty kats!"

"Kate I think it's a girl,"

Kate's jaw fell.

"I came on the magic school bus in hopes to fly to Jupiter to meet the manicorn who would open a portal to the cake. Which is not a lie. It's just a pie."

"Um mam, I think your high." Kate said

"Don't worry kate, I got this." Humphrey interrupted

"simple, old muscular lady. Put a sugar on the middle left and middle right squares, eggs right in the middle, three buckets of milk on the top and three wheat on the bottom. Then you have a cake."

"but that's the problem! As soon as I did that it said achievement get, the lie. "

"Take a left near Uranus."

"k thanks" and in an instant she evaporated leaving a supernova explosion blowing up everyone within a 1k mile radius and wiped out all the wolves, who woke up in a land that has never been touched by anyone, and to them, they seemed normal but to others… well… merry Christmas!

**Yea stupid ending I know I know, but I figured that was…. Fitting for them…. Now I need a glass of squaghalianochius. And I think ill sleep for a couple weeks… ow…**


	4. Chapter 4: EPILOGUE

**THOSE**

**SEVEN**

**CHOCOLATE**

**PIANO**

**CLOCKS**

**VOL.1**

**SEASON 1**

**SERIES 1**

**EDITION 1**

**EPISODE 4**

**PART 1**

**NOW IN A BLU-RAY DVD VIDEO GAME UNCUT MODIFIED ORIGINAL REMASTERED DOCUMENTARY DELETED SCENE SPECIAL FEATURE 32 EPISODE 9 DISC 801 MINUTE BONUS COMMENTARY ANIMATED VOICE EDITED ENGLISH DUBBED SUBTITLES AUDIO AND VIDEO BOX SET**

**(Try sayin that 5 times reel fast!)That's right guys! I'm back! TSCPC ISN'T over yet!**

**Episode 4:**

**Yes that is the title. I know I know… they are getting shorter but, I just can't think of any more long titles so sorry.**

**Some authors notes.**

**1 )Wow you guys sure love Minecraft… and cake… and lying.**

**2) Holy cru—birds… birds. Wow I can't believe thunderassault actually wrote a review on my story… wow. Wow. Ok im done**

**3) Just because all the wolves are dead doesn't mean the story is over. So it's still on**

**4) Thanks for all the reviews in 1 day, and yea I noticed the confusing dialoug so im gonna try to fix it this time**

**5) Congrats, I just wasted 180 words on the beginning. Go ahead and count.**

"So, kate… are we…"

"yes dad, were dead."

Winston sighed. "figures… but hey, now we can act crazy to and it will be completely normal!"

"Hey good point dad!" Kate said excitedly "I'm going to go talk to Humphrey."

Kate finds Humphrey licking a rock, she decided to just go with that.

"So, Humphrey, what are you doing?"

Humphrey stopped licking the rock. "I'm checking my Facebook status. I have 57 friends now."

Kate stared at Humphrey and was in shock.

"what's wrong Kate?"

"You look like a cat."

Humphrey walked behind a tree and started making noises

"RRRRRRRGGG AUUUUUGHHGH" *plop*

Humphrey came out from behind the tree and looked like his normal self.

"Um, Humphrey, what were you just doing in there?"

"Writing a play, here read it."

Kate read Humphreys play.

**The Gay Duckling**

Characters:

Gay duck

Straight moose

_S.M.:Hi there little duck_

_G.D: I'm gay_

_S.M: Hey its not nice to make fun of gay animals like that_

_G.D: Oh, I'm sorry, but I don't lie, I only tell the truth._

_S.M:I am going to tell your parents young ducky!_

_G.D: ok, but they migrated. To china._

_S.M: Are you sick?_

_G.D: No, I'm gay_

_*Audience laughs*_

_**The End**_

"Wow Humphrey, that was… different."

Just then reba walked by.

"Oh hi reba." Kate said

"Hi Katheryn. I'm looking for mrs. Teacher man lady woman."

Janice falls ontop of reba.

"NO YOU'R THE CHOCOLATE SYRUP YOU DIRTY ENHANCEMENT PILL!"

"lol internetz"

Winston is talking to tony.

"Hi tony"

"I JUST CRAPPED MYSELF! ALL THE GREEN OOZY STUFF IS OOZING DOWN MY THROAT HOLE RIGHT NOW!"

Winston sighs. "Tony, what is wrong with you?"

"Says you mr. big green slimy old haggy wrinkly pasty puke covered crap drenched shrively infectious sausage fingers!"

Winston thinks"just act crazy"

"Tomato soup!"

Tony thanks Winston and walks away.

2 hours late Winston and kate meet up.

"So kate, I figured something out… these things they say… its like a new language."

"Yea I think your right. Because if we were dead then they would probably be back to normal. "

"ok kate. So lets try and figure this out. I just got this paper and pencil out of nowhere and developed the writing skill of a 11th grader in 10 minutes, so ill record everything they say and how they respond."

"Wait, what? Nevermind… so this means im doing the talking?"

"yes."

"ok"

5 minutes later.

"Hey Humphrey!"

"Moist sags kate!"

"Ok that's obviously hello in…. crazywolfeniseian"

"um kate, maybe I should come up with the titles"

*Audience laughs*

"What the crap was that?" they all said

*audience laughs*

"Shut up!" they all said… again

*Audience makes googoo sounds*

*everyone runs away*

Humphrey walks up to kate.

"Hey Kate."

"Hi Humphrey."

"wait… did you just say hey?"

"Uh… TOOILET FLAP SMACKER PEE WEE PHONE PRECISION BLUE WACKOMS EMPIRE $$"

"I say we cut the story off short."

**Epilogue:**

Kate and Winston both learned the language that the other wolfs spoke. Humphrey apparently wasn't insane and only acted that way to fit in with the crowd. Winston created his own school of being normal to set out and fix the world. Lilly became the creator of the world's largest mobile broadband connection. Eve became an amateur photographer that took pictures of her toes. And then hutch decided to-

"Humphrey what are you doing?" kate said

"Duh, I'm writing the epilogue to my alpha and omega fan fic called TSCPC."

**AN: I do not see my self as Humphrey**

"fan fic?"

"Yes, I'm up to 777 words."

"So you're writing down every single thing we say and do and put it on the internet for millions of weird stalkers and 48 year old middle schoolers to read?"

"yes"

"well, you didn't write what I did last night though right?"

"Of course not… but I just wrote that and I might get some reviews asking what you did that night so… maybe I should tell them."

"no!"

"ok"

"ok then bye."

(For the record last night kate put on a hockey mask, covered herself in grass, hid 3 books in her mouth and shoved a watch up her-)

"HUMPHREY!"

"I go by the name humpsies now."

"Still! You said you wouldn't tell anyone."

*WARNING

The rest of this story will be filled with pathetic crying and more pathetic…. Ness and stuff… my keyboard is very annoying and this was the warning that you have warningly been warned about and other stuff… OUTTA SPACE! *

**Well everyone, thanks for reading TSCPC: , or as I call it… EPILOGUE. So I will be making a semi realistic… (who am I kidding, completely unrealistic.) sequel of TSCPC. I'm still deciding on the name so please post your ideas in the reviews!**

**^Why did I write this genre of story on alpha and omega? Well don't take this the wrong way but, I've read way to much about wolf… mating… and figured. I'm GONNA WRITE SOMETHING ELSE! And them… BAM NEW STORY. Hope you guys liked something different and, I still read all these stories I just… skip over the mating part, They are still great stories so keep writing! (You guys and your dirty dirty lemons.) So that is another reason I stopped writing the tree of love, but I will probably continue that. (Its hard to switch from crazy writing to normal writing.) ^**

**So guys please review, I promise to read every review, and if you have a question I will answer it, if you have a suggestion I will listen to it and if you have a funny idea I WILL USE IT! (and give you credit, and change the idea up a bit.)**

**T HANKS FOR READING ! BLAGUGHRTGUTHG**


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